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Friday, February 6, 2009

Porn clip was a Super Bowl of wrong

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The Arizona cable network that screened 30 seconds of hard core porn during the Super Bowl has been accused of leaving sport fans psychologically disturbed.

80,000 viewers were watching the big match on the KVOA network when they were suddenly treated to a clip of a man being sucked off by a hot naked chick. Hundreds of quick thinking supporters across the state instantly dropped their trousers and started furiously ‘beating the meat’. But they were left horrified when the network cut back to the game leaving them wanking to the sight of big men in tight trousers wrestling with each other on the floor.

Mike Hooper, from the No Principles Legal Association that is representing 30 fans, said:

"First of all, my clients are angry with KVOA for not informing them that a saucy clip from Jenna Jameson’s Sex Club was to be screened. If they had known that a TV blow job was in the offing viewers could have been firmed up and ready to go, giving them a decent chance of delivering the money shot before the network returned to the American Football.

"Instead those who had momentarily closed their eyes mid stroke soon found themselves thrashing away to the spectacle of the Arizona Cardinals' defensive line on their haunches covered in sweat. Can you imagine the trauma of then having to finish yourself off while watching Pittsburgh driving down the field for the game and winning touchdown."

Gary Nielson, President of KVOA, admitted that screening of the hard core porn should have been extended to give viewers every opportunity to climax. But he defended his network against accusations of bad taste pointing out they had only used high class footage from the Jenna Jameson collection.

Mr Nielson said: “I still think spicing up the biggest sporting event of the year with some serious skin was the right call. But I admit we should have stayed the course to give the guys the chance to get the job done. However, they should be thankful that our producer didn’t get his way and play the tape of his wife with their neighbour. 30 seconds of her would have led to a case of state wide Mr Floppy.”
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