EU leaders put finance talks on hold for Jade Goody's wedding

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Berlusconi recounts his favourite racist comment that

Goody made about Shilpa Shetty on Celebrity Big Brother

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As world leaders gathered in Berlin at the weekend amid the worst economic crisis in history, there was only one thing on their minds.

The wedding of reality TV star and racist bully Jade Goody was top of the agenda on Sunday and Prime Minister Brown, President Sarkozy and Chancellor Merkel led the tributes to the woman who, in life and now in death, didn't actually fucking do anything.

Discussion over regulation for financial markets were postponed as the group watched Sky TV's live coverage of the wedding on Sunday afternoon and cheered and clapped when the groom, convicted thug Jack Tweedy, was driven to the church dressed in a bra and knickers.

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi was comforted by his Czech opposite number Mirek Topolanek when the emotion became too much for him as he watched terminally ill Goody's car arrive at Down Hall in Essex.

Only Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen was brave enough to question why everyone was weeping over a thick, talentless, racist.

"I don't mean to be cold, but what the feck are you eejits watching this shite for?" he asked, only to be shouted down and threatened by the leaders of the 3 Benelux countries in unison. Dutch PM Jan Peter Balkenende threw his pen at Cowen, leaving a small cut on his forehead, forcing him to sit down and tend to the wound.

Talks on finance and job creation resumed late last night, but only after a 6 hour debate on what kind or wedding present the EU should send. Western European nations led by Spain favoured a cutlery and crockery set, while Poland and other Eastern countries preferred a collection of paintings representing each member state.

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Mr Cowen was heard muttering about sending a 'turd in the post', but was quickly reprimanded by the chair.

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