The Stupid Times can reveal President Obama has tripled the size of the White House staff in a attempt to single-handedly get the economy moving.
Under George W. Bush there were 50 full time staffers working day and night to ensure the Federal Government was bankrupt and the USA loathed around the World by the time he returned to Texas.
But in the space of four weeks Obama has already upped this number to 150, with the promise of more to come once the President had cleared out the garage and set up computers on his workbench.
Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel, after a series of expletives, said:
“We have taken a leaf out of the British Chancellor’s book. He decided to reduce the national debt by paying off his credit card and now we are going to make some headway on the 4 million jobs we promised to create by having at least three people taking on the same role in the White House.
“Things have been working pretty well apart from there always being long queues outside the ladies toilets on the West Wing. The only real problems have been Clinton kicking off about having two Middle East Envoys and the VP sticking their noses into her business, and the pool cleaners exchanging blows over whose turn it was to clean the shallow end.”
Unsurprisingly the Republicans are highly critical of the increase in personnel, citing it as further evidence of Obama being ill-equipped to be President.
Karl Rove, the former chief strategist for Bush, said:
“How many people does Obama need to tell him the economy is screwed and Israel is always in the right?
"In the Bush White House we liked to have few staff and keep things nice and simple. George’s motto on policy was always ‘make it simple and then simplify it more before you speak to me'.
In my view any man who cannot see the benefits of giving large tax cuts to the rich as a means to help the poor clearly does not have the clarity of thought needed for the top job.”
Obama was not at the daily media briefing to comment and the three new press officers all denied reports the President was putting the three new aerobics teachers through their paces.