George W Bush accepts best actor Oscar

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George W Bush last night gave an emotional winning speech as he picked up the Best Actor award for his performance in 2001-2009 as an incompetent, bumbling president who took the USA into a disastrous war and to the brink of economic collapse.

Fighting back tears, he thanked his wife Laura, God and the people of America for "bravely electing me twice." Bush was not the only winner for the 2001-2009 presidency, and those who supported his performance were also recognised. Academy Awards also went to General David Petraeus for Best Visual Effects and Karl Rove for Best Sound Editing. 2001-2009 also won the best picture award.

There was some consternation however as Dick Cheney failed to pick up the Best Director prize, despite being considered the true architect of 2001-2009. That prize went to Rick Davis for his work on the comedy hit, McCain-Palin 2008.

"Now who's the idiot," asked Bush to rapturous applause during his speech. "This all started a long time ago, and what a way to end it, gee. Some people have criticised my performance as president, they said it was too much like a caricature. Well tonight they have their answer. Thank you, and God Bless you all."

Bush began his acting career back in the 1970s when he carefully crafted the character of a useless oil man continually getting bailed out by his daddy's friends. The 1980s saw him excel at playing a drunk, boorish, rich guy with little focus in life. But it was the 1990s when his career took off. His work as a clueless Texan governor in 1995-2000 earned him a nomination at the Golden Globes, and paved the way for last night's win.

The Stupid Times' entertainment reporter Harold Watko was at the ceremony and gave his analysis of the award. "Essentially, this Oscar has put Bush up there with the greats. Not since Herbert Hoover won for Financial Collapse 1929-1933 or Richard Nixon for Impeachment '74 has anyone been so convincing as a bad president. Sadly Bush has insisted that 2001-2009 was his last role, so fans hoping for more will be left disappointed."

Other big winners of the night were Sarah Palin, who won Best Supporting Actress for her role as a naive and incompetent vice-presidential nominee in McCain-Palin 2008, and Hillary Clinton, who took the Best Actress gong for her role as a brave new female politician battling against the establishment in Democratic Primaries 2008.
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