Britain is set for a shortage of useless presents this Christmas as the high street's biggest seller of tat heads into administration. People across the country may be unwrapping useful and practical items on Christmas morning, instead of comedy sized wine glasses, Homer Simpson bottle openers, or foul smelling candle sets, analysts say.
Woolworths have been selling rubbish for almost 100 years and pioneered short-term novelty presents that end up in landfill by Boxing Day. Deloitte, the company appointed to manage the process, have reassured shoppers that branches will remain open selling shit for at least the next few weeks.
Meanwhile, shares in one of Woolies most popular products collapsed following the news. The commodity price of pick 'n' mix fell by over 40% in a matter of minutes. However shares rallied when a cleaning lady at the stock exchange pointed out that pick 'n' mix is available from loads of other shops and has been for years.
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Its brilliant that the shop has now disappeared. It is amazing that the shop lasted this long, the staff are often confused about there role, to help and serve customers. They often looked bemused as if one was asking them to do something outside their job role (where is the paper? "we sell paper?").
ReplyDeleteThe products are utter shot and always have been, what about all the money renaming stores to Big W and then back to Woolworths?