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Thursday, November 20, 2008

Obama appoints Bill Clinton to manage White House interns

The former president's international business dealings, global foundation and recent gaffes could create difficulties for Hillary Clinton becoming secretary of state, according to transition team insiders.

Barack Obama is determined to give the New York Senator the key foreign policy job in his cabinet but is concerned that her husband's complicated global business interests could present future conflicts of interest that result in unneeded headaches for the incoming commander-in-chief.

However, the President-elect and his advisors have come up with a plan to ensure that his international presence is curtailed once Hillary is appointed to the State Department. Obama has offered Bill Clinton the job of Coordinator for the White House Internship program. Aides close to the former president have said that he was 'drooling' at the prospect and has offered to cease all international activities after the new administration takes office on January 20th 2009 in order to take up the job.

Bill has been on a long dry patch since his affair with White House intern Monica Lewinsky almost derailed his presidency in 1998. Since then, Hillary has remained too angry to put out and in any case, has been too busy as a Senator and a presidential candidate to go horizontal jogging with Bill. Added to this, intense media scrutiny of his private life has prevented him from getting a sweet piece of ass elsewhere.

With the female interns at his beck and call, the world media outside the gates, and his wife constantly away on government business, Clinton would easily slip into his old role as charmer-in-chief and is likely to spend 99% of his time boning 21 year old college students. This would leave no time for the international business and charity work that concerns the Obama team and would leave Hillary to dominate the world stage, alone and controversy free.

The former president was seen driving to a local pharmacy last night without his wife. He emerged later carrying 20 boxes of condoms and sporting a huge grin on his red, randy face.

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