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Friday, November 14, 2008

Clinton taps Obama for President

Hillary pulling the strings from a padded cell

Hillary Clinton’s transition team has revealed that her former rival Barack Obama is on the shortlist for the job of president in her new administration. The New York Senator lost the Democratic primary to Obama and therefore did not take part in the presidential election, but remains convinced that she is in charge.

A close friend told us: “She tends to spend most of the day weighing up the pros and cons of Obama as president and the various cabinet picks that need to be made. She sees herself as a sort of supreme leader, rising above the government, the party and the election results. Frankly, I’m scared she might be one racist remark short of a Republican rally.”

Clinton’s delusions of grandeur began during the election campaign and have progressively worsened. During the primaries she claimed to have run from enemy fire during the war in Yugoslavia, which turned out to be a hallucination she had whilst calmly walking from the helicopter with Chelsea and greeting local children. Her concession speech in June registered with all but her. Husband Bill had to break the news that all the cheering meant she had lost rather than won, prompting a violent tantrum that lasted for several hours until a local vet sedated her with a dart gun.

The former first lady has since become a virtual recluse in her Westchester home and has assembled a team of top advisors to assist with the transition to imaginary power. They include the local doctor, a psychiatric nurse and Jerry the Farmer who attends meetings armed with a cattle prod for when things get nasty.

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