Daily Mail calls for Britain to resign

The Daily Mail newspaper has decided that everyone in the UK should resign over various crises. From the Credit Crunch, the Ross/Brand telephone scandal, to failing local government services, Mail columnists led by Melanie Phillips have decided that it is time for us all to fall on our swords.

In an opinion piece in Monday's paper, Phillips explained that Britain's position has become untenable.

"We are all responsible for the mistakes of the 1960s generation. Gays, single mothers and immigrants are mostly to blame of course, but we are perhaps equally to blame for not spitting at them in the street anymore and allowing them to live their sordid, filthy lives in an atmosphere of peace and tolerance. Therefore it is now the duty of every one in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland to resign, and resign now. Discipline, mistrust, weren't the 1950s perfect, enforced miserable conformity, etc etc."

Despite this strong view, it was not clear if the mass resignation would apply to tabloid writers and self-appointed guardians of the nation's morals. Mail editor Paul Dacre was unavailable to clarify the point as he was busy beating a servant to death for overcooking his toast.