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Thursday, January 8, 2009

Tetris can relieve crushing boredom of life


Playing the computer puzzle game Tetris can help reduce the effects of a tedious existence, UK researchers say.

Volunteers were exposed to soul destroying jobs, with some given the game to play 30 minutes later. Those that played the game were less likely to down five pints in the pub at lunch or stare at porn through bitter tears, said the scientists.

32 year old Paul Thomas, a council officer from Leeds, was one of the volunteers. "They created a typical working day scenario for us – the bastard boss asking you to do mundane work on a PC or in a factory environment, while attractive female employees ignore you and Chris Fucking Moyles craps on in the background.

"Normally this would have me reaching for the hipflask on my break, but when given Tetris I was lost in a fun world of colour and tricky puzzles that took my mind right off the futility of this pointless, frustrating subsistence. Later that evening I decided to forgo arguing with my wife about the scatter cushions and we enjoyed a romantic meal together instead."

Professor Alex Harward of Oxford University said the test results showed that successive generations of drones could be kept under the thumb by the game if it were made available in workplaces. "We live in an age where expectations are high, but the credit crunch is limiting people's access to many of the financial and material rewards they have got used to.

"Spending several hours a day fitting different coloured shapes together on a small computer screen could keep our workers subservient for generations to come."


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