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Friday, January 16, 2009
Brazilian footballing superstar Kaka has rubbished claims by English football fans he is moving to Manchester City for the cash.
The Blues, currently languishing close to the relegation zone, are reported to have tabled a £100million bid to AC Milan and offered the midfield maestro wages of £500,000 a week. But Kaka maintains he will be moving from the seven-time European Champions to play with a crap side in a crap city with crap weather purely for footballing reasons.
Speaking from Switzerland, where he is in the process of buying a private jet and a super yacht, Kaka said: “In terms of this move I am mad for it. Since I was a boy growing up in Brazil I have harboured the ambition to live in Manchester, preferably in a mock Tudor mansion.
And if we were to drop down into the Coca Cola Championship at the end of the season I would at least have the chance to fulfil another dream – playing in Southend on a wet January night.”
However the news has been greeted with scepticism by some City fans. Speaking in the club shop Joe Ninety said: “First we are being told by Gordon Brown we are in an excellent position to deal with the recession and now Kaka is saying he wants to come and play alongside David Dunne and Micah Richards. Do they take us for fools?” Ninety then headed to the till to pay £150 for City’s third away kit to be released in three months.
Trillionaire owner Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan has pledged that buying Kaka is just the start of a process to make the City squad more valuable then South America.
A spokesman of Al Nahyn said: “It is our aim to sign Lionel Messi and Ronaldo for £200 million a piece and put them on wages of £1million before the transfer window closes. It will then be up to our manager Mark Hughes to create a winning team. His job is safe for the moment but he knows for every game lost, a finger will be removed and relegation will lead to him being stoned to death outside the ground.”