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Thursday, March 12, 2009
International leaders and commentators have called for a "harsher punishment" to be used against the man who failed to hit George W Bush in the fucking face with his shoes last year.
At a press conference in December, Iraqi journalist Muntadher al-Zaidi was wrestled to the floor by security guards after he called Mr Bush "a dog" and threw his footwear, just missing the president.
Today al-Zaidi was setenced to three years in prison for the failed attack but the world was united in calling for a stiffer jail term.
At the time, politicians around the world expressed shock and awe that he missed the president's grinning face, and insisted that if they had been there, they would have smashed the bastard's nose right in.
Prime Minister Zapatero of Spain broke off from talks with union leaders to speak of his regret that Bush wasn't twatted in the chops. His Australian counterpart Kevin Rudd released a statement condemning the journalist for missing Bush's eyes and called for him to be tried at the Hague for "pissing away a perfect set up."
There was also surprise that Bush managed to duck out of the way, given that he had trouble naming his own Cabinet and often mistook the door to the Oval Office for the White House soda machine. "This is a man who once almost choked to death on a pretzel," said UN secretary general Ban Ki-moon. "How in the name of god was he able to avoid a dead cert from a few meters away and how did this man miss? This is one case were the death penalty should be brought back."