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Thursday, December 18, 2008

Sky moves towards 3D broadcasts of the same shit

The Sky 1 schedule for Christmas 2008

Sky TV says it has made a significant step towards bringing the usual crap to British viewers via the medium of 3D television.

The satellite broadcaster says it has successfully tested the delivery of shite 3D programming to a domestic television, via a high-definition set-top box. The Simpsons, the only worthwhile program on the Sky channels, is not likely to be made in 3D in the near future, leaving people wondering what the point is.

Truly appalling programmes like Stargate SG1, Road Wars, Ross Kemp in Afghanistan, and the 50 greatest TV endings will only have their crapness enhanced by the 3D technology as people realise that the CGI in Stargate is poor and that Ross Kemp is actually only 4 feet high.

Such broadcasts would also require the purchase or theft of expensive 3D televisions, which are not yet available in UK stores or locked vans, and viewers would need to wear 3D polarising glasses that they can't afford or buy off a Nigerian bloke in a pub.

However, sport appears to be the main draw for the technology amongst British viewers. Sky Sports presenter Georgie Thompson said: "Now we will be able to watch our national teams get thrashed at football, cricket, rugby, tennis, golf and a host of other sports in glorious 3D."

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