Barack Obama has shown he has got a few more surprises up his sleeves by naming Vladimir Putin as his National Security Advisor.
The President-Elect announced that he had spoken to the Kremlin and they had agreed to release Putin from his position as Prime Minister. Speaking at a press conference at his local basketball court Obama explained to reporters that a bi-partisan approach was much more than just getting the Democrats and Republicans to work together.
"I am a firm believer in the adage that you should keep your friends close and your enemies closer. That is why I appointed Hillary Clinton as my Secretary of State and this is why Vladimir Putin will be working to keep us all safe. Having Putin on board will mean good relations with the Russians and no Americans giving us any shit from abroad. Well not unless they fancy a spot of Plutonium with their cofee that is."
Obama batted away questions about whether a former member of the KGB who had brutally recreated a one-party state in Russia was suitable to work in the White House. While practising his lay-ups he reminded the press corp that this was a new kind of politics and Putin would be his 'go to guy' when the game got tight and the US were playing heavy defence. He added that it may also mean the White House getting an early heads-up when Russia was about to attack and then butcher one of the former Soviet States.
Putin was away in Siberia wrestling with polar bears and so was unable to comment. However, a spokesman said that Putin's first priority would be to eliminate all internal threats, starting with a programme of rounding up US-based Ukrainians and indiscriminately torturing them.