UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown flew into Iraq this morning hoping to get smacked in the face with some footwear.
Sporting a makeshift target painted on his forehead, Mr Brown is in Baghdad to discuss what a bunch of twats the Iraqis are and has scheduled several long press conferences with free shoes handed to each journalist that comes through the the door.
The PM is understood to be angry at the attention that outgoing US President George W Bush has received for ducking and smiling when shoes were thrown at him on Sunday, and wants to look as cool and relaxed under fire as Bush. He has let it be known he would appreciate having stuff chucked his way, and may grant a private interview to the first attacker.
Chief of the UK Defence Staff Sir Jock Stirrup, who is travelling with the PM, explained that Brown wanted to generate some international headlines and improve his image.
"Instead of a dour Scot who would probably get his nose busted by a shoe and start crying and shouting, Gordon wants to be a man who can duck missiles thrown at him like Bush did. Then he wants to practice making lightweight wisecracks and continue talking crap about the war, oblivious to to the cultural significance of the act."
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