Zuma bribes corrupt prosecutors to drop corruption charges

South Africa's president in waiting is celebrating today after the Director of Public Prosecutions found a large pile of cash in his briefcase.

Jacob Zuma, chairman of the ruling African National Congress party, has been facing graft charges over an arms deal in the 1990s, and was expected to stand trial in the next few months. However with elections looming that would install Mr Zuma as president, Mokotedi Mpshe now believes there was political interference in the accusations.

"I have come to the difficult conclusion that it is neither possible nor desirable for us to continue with the prosecution of Mr Zuma," Mr Mphse said. "The pile of cash that was left in my office has had no bearing on the decision, and the new jewellery my wife is enjoying so much is entirely coincidental."

He also denied that there has been any political pressure on him and his colleagues to make the charges go away. "There is absolutely no truth to the rumours of Mr Zuma promising us all new jobs in the postroom after he wins the election. Nor is it the case that he threatened to have my legs broken."