Darling tries to skive off work on Budget day

Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling was this morning discovered sitting at the bottom of his wardrobe at Number 11 Downing Street on what will be one of the most difficult Budgets in recent history.

Mrs Darling woke up early to find him missing and assumed he had gone to work early. But she soon received a call for him from the Treasury and began looking around the house. After searching the offices downstairs, she heard the creak of the door and rushed upstairs to find a visibly nervous Chancellor shivering in his pyjamas.

After climbing out of the wardrobe complaining of sleepwalking, he then claimed to have a stomach ache, went back to bed and pulled the covers over his head. More calls from the Treasury and the Cabinet Office followed and he was forced to get in the shower. As he came down for breakfast he asked his wife to check his forehead for a temperature, but she announced it was fine. An argument ensued where she told him to "pull his fucking finger out" and get to work, to which he shouted, "well if I die it'll be your fault."

A grumpy and tearful Mr Darling was later seen stumbling down Whitehall towards the Treasury, angrily scraping his red box along the floor.