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Friday, June 26, 2009

Michael Jackson death conspiracy theories break out in record time

Just seconds after the King of Pop was pronounced dead at UCLA Medical Center, the first paranoid delusion about his whereabouts was invented by a crazed fan.

At 2.27 pm Dwight Santos, an unemployed toilet cleaner from Oakland, California, was announcing to the media and anyone else who would listen that he had seen Jacko escaping from the back door of the hospital disguised as a nun. According to Santos, the singer is now en route to a small island in the Caribbean, where he will live out his days as a fruit farmer called Thomas Di Loco.

Not wanting to be outdone, another superfan created a fragile tissue of lies a few minutes later. At 2.29 pm Elisa Chan began telling the assembled throng that she sighted Jackson strapping on a jetpack and flying off towards LAX airport. She explained that the Peter Pan of Pop was going home to his birthplace at Gary, Indiana before taking a flight to Greenland to live with a remote community of Eskimos.

However, one conspiracy theory that isn't being talked up is perhaps the most realistic. Jacko had agreed to do 50 massive comeback shows at the O2 Arena in London this summer, and some think he is shitting bricks and has therefore faked his death and gone into hiding until it all blows over. Sadly, like the singers face and all the other theories, this is completely fake.

RIP Michael Jackson, 1958 - 1982

RIP Wacko Jacko, 1982 - 2009



  2. Michael Jackson's death was definately assisted suicide. Michael Jackson knew that he wasn't up to the comeback tour.

    He knew that if he had gone through with it he would have been always remembered as the star who was charged with molestation, who was well past his best, or worse.

    Suicide, assisted by his doctor, resulting in his death gave him a degree of pardon for his past and he will be remembered as a genius. And it means his children will become rich from his royalties and they will not have to live with the stigma that would have always been attached to them.

    The doctor's claims about trying and wanting to revive him was well rehearsed.

    A not surprising end to his life..!

  3. Thomas Di Loco is a mexican sleeping pill. thats weird that he would pick such a name. and weird a spanish guy claimed that would be his name hmmmm a little skeptical about that claim.

  4. He is in Mexico city


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