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Monday, June 29, 2009

Jackson family demand second audit

Michael Jackson's family have demanded a second assessment of the star's finances because they still have questions about what the fuck happened to all his money.

Jackson's relatives are said to want answers from the singer's personal accountant, who has since disappeared leaving only a holiday brochure for the Maldives.

Rev Jesse Jackson, who is a family friend, said: "What in the name of God, Jesus, Muhammad and Abraham did that guy spend his money on? He earned almost a billion dollars and all that's left is a suitcase full of toys and a jar of peanut butter. What the hell did he do with it? Was he using $100 bills for toilet paper?"

Jackson's estate is estimated to be $500 million in debt, with assets barely covering that. Once legal fees and payouts to creditors and benefactors are taken care of, the family expect there to be around 78 cents left in the pot.

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