World condemns man for missing Bush's face

Just a few of the shoes that world leaders would like to throw at Bush

International leaders and commentators have called for the "harshest possible punishment" to be used against the man who failed to hit George W Bush in the fucking face with his shoes.

At a press conference with Iraqi PM Nouri Maliki, an Iraqi journalist was wrestled to the floor by security guards after he called Mr Bush "a dog" and threw his footwear, just missing the president.

Politicians around the world have expressed shock and awe that he missed the president's grinning face, and insisted that if they had been there, they would have smashed the bastard's nose right in.

Prime Minister Zapatero of Spain broke off from talks with union leaders to speak of his regret that Bush wasn't twatted in the chops. His Australian counterpart Kevin Rudd released a statement condemning the journalist for missing Bush's eyes and called for him to be tried at the Hague for "pissing away a perfect set up. "

There has also been surprise that Bush managed to duck out of the way, given that he has trouble recognising his own Cabinet and often mistakes the door to the Oval Office for the White House soda machine. "This is a man who once almost choked to death on a pretzel," said UN secretary general Ban Ki-moon. "How in the name of god was he able to avoid a dead cert from a few metres away?"